


one more light

by nycthemeron



Category: Twosetviolin
Genre: Best Friends, Character Death, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, Death, Denial, Fear, Fear of Death, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Holding Hands, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Memories, Nature, Nostalgia, Stars, and absolutely im writing brett from my point of view, as with most my fics, bc men can have breast cancer too, im telling you right now there is no happy ending, its a bullet to the heart, lapslock, so glad thats a valid tag, someone is dead!, this is pretty personal, this time of cancer, vibe check!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-09
Updated: 2019-11-09
Packaged: 2021-01-26 00:31:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21365212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nycthemeron/pseuds/nycthemeron
Summary: eddy breathed in deeply, and unlike any other breath brett has heard before, he exhaled long and slow and clear.through the open window, he heard the crickets sound, and while the world was at peace, he felt how much this meant to him, felt at rest.
Relationships: Eddy Chen/Brett Yang
Comments: 4
Kudos: 33





	one more light

**Author's Note:**

> i want to make it abundantly clear that i do not write twoset as lovers. i write them as the friends they are. that dynamic is important for this fic.
> 
> that being said, i recommend listening to "one more light" by linkin park while listening if you want a more emotional experience.

If you had seen him in the days before he left, if you had seen him bounding in the light of dusk, you would see the regret. you would see the way he wished he had more time. you would see the urgency, the fear, the clearest final breaths.

burning, lively light trickled through the incoming night sky, sewing a blanket over their heads that suffocated their breath, both accepting and desperate. how unfair that a star so closely resembling the sun should die so soon, how unfair that a star leaves such a dazzling legacy scattered across the cosmos, how unfair.

_the lights above their heads blinded them, but upon the final silence after their bows left the strings, the audience exploded with the crackling of applause, and they both felt the fireworks of a dream realized. _

_with blinding smiles that rivaled the sun, they felt like they were on top of the world._

everyone is afraid of death, whether they admit it or not, because we were born to live. everyone has something they want to do before they die, or a bucket list. a last huzzah in the face of the end.

brett had feared the death of his friend--a brother, really--which turned into avoidance. he knows it was not his best choice, not at all, but what else was he supposed to do when he saw the timer ticking down. 

his friend had breast cancer. how was he supposed to react?

he knows he should have been there.

_voices collided and funneled into his ears, sat in a cold metal chair in the cafe across from eddy. he held his cup of coffee in both hands, combating the chill in his legs with warmth in his hands. the voices were loud, but not loud enough that hearing eddy speak was impossible. it created a little bubble for themselves in a way; they may have been in public, but no one else heard them over the chatter in the room unless they really tried. _

_they spoke so only they could heard each other, and in their own little world, brett said something that made eddy giggle a little louder than normal. _

_even with the afternoon sun of a winters day beaming through the windows, the room was a little brighter._

the reminders pull the floor from beneath his feet, everywhere he looks. 

one more chair than he needs in the kitchen. that one pair of shoes eddy left in his apartment and would always forget to bring home that forever sits by his door. his violin put away in its case, safe from the dust it would collect without it. the cards eddy gave him for his birthday and holidays pinned to his wall. videos and pictures of them hanging out resurfacing from his memories on snapchat. the youtube plaques hanging on his wall. the feeling he gets walking in the door to a boba shop with no one by his side. the recording studio.

he cries sometimes, not just because he grieves--god does he grieve--but of how unfair it all is. 

eddy was a person, someone who had dreams and a life to live, meaningful relationships that would never grow, a future he never got to see. 

he misses everything about him. 

_at a water conservation garden, brett decided to face eddy after avoiding him for far too long. _

_it was no pristine garden with towering trees and huge water fountains, but it was peaceful. it was free to enter with the option of donating, a small pond of koi fish by the entrance. they passed a small shop, an area that only had succulents growing in pots on wooden stands, and visited the sanctuary that housed two tortoises. they sat in the butterfly garden for a while, watched monarchs as big as their hands fly from different areas of the enclosed space to another. _

_brett listens to the crunch of gravel and rocks of the dirt paths beneath the wheels of the wheelchair eddy sits in. he recalls how different his voice sounds now, how there is no longer hair for him to rustle, how much weaker he seemed when he hugged him. even though he remained the same for the most part, brett saw how tired he was, how much it all was for him._

_as they leave the garden to go home, red begins to bleed across the sky._

brett remembers that, before his death, there was a time where he knew he would die. he felt it in his bones, unwavering and absolute in its truth although he had no way to prove it. it rang true when he died a month and a half later, after taking a turn for the worst. most times he likes to be right, but that time he wished he was wrong.

there are no words to describe how absolutely heartbroken he felt. 

_his head resting in his hand, brett sat at a desk by the window absorbing the beginnings of twilight. it had been a long day, and after not turning his math homework one too many times, he had been condemned to the classroom after school for detention. he felt the exponentially decreasing warmth from a sun beyond the horizon, falling asleep as he played with the hair at his fingertips. it may have been detention, but no one was really doing anything productive. _

_someone crashed into the seat next to him with an audible sigh, and he jumped at the screech of the chair on the ground. his eyes snapped open, turning to whoever was so rude._

_a boy sat reclined in the chair, somehow looking relaxed in it despite it being made of rigid plastic. the boy looked at brett, then at his feet where his violin case lay. _

_"you play violin too?" the boy asks._

_"yeah," brett says offhandedly, "why?"_

_"i play too!" he exclaims, and picks up his own violin case to show him. _

_brett sits up straighter, now intrigued. "really? do you play for an orchestra?"_

_the boy nods, and gives the name of the orchestra to brett, whose eyes widen._

_"i play in the same one! ive never seen you before..."_

_"maybe youre just not good with faces."_

_"maybe... whats your name?"_

_"eddy."_

_"im brett."_

he thinks the hardest part is dealing with his regret.

that he should have done more, said more, _been_ more than he was to eddy. if he had the chance to see him, hear him, touch him one last time, he would take it in a heartbeat. there is nothing he would not give to have more time, even if it was his own last breath on the line. 

even if he spent every one of his last days with him, it was never enough. 

_eddy had been the worst he had ever been for the past few days, and brett insisted upon spending the night every night. he slept on the floor next to his bed, and would hold his hand as they fell asleep. one time he woke up and they were still holding onto each other by their fingertips._

_to his side was a window, the blinds he pulled up on the first night so he could look at the stars. he looked at them in that moment, remembered that their bodies are made of stardust, and wondered if his friend would return to the stars when it came his time. no, more like a supernova. eddy was already a star in nearly every sense of the word. _

_brett heard eddy begin to breathe differently, and suddenly he was awake and aware, still and calm as he listened. _

_this is it, he thought._

_eddy breathed in deeply, and unlike any other breath brett has heard before, he exhaled long and slow and clear._

_through the open window, he heard the crickets sound, and while the world was at peace, he felt how much this meant to him, felt at rest._

**Author's Note:**

> you cant have love without friendship and friendship without love. tell your friends you love them, because you do.
> 
> i promise theyll appreciate it.
> 
> thank you for reading.
> 
> twitter: @nycthemerontsv


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